In the August Museletter from Richard Heinberg (http://richardheinberg.com/), Fellow of the Post-Carbon Institute, and author of nine books on scary topics like “peak oil” and “peak everything,” gives us a satirical riff on cosumerism and profiteering –to antidote the stifling mud of denial emanating from the mainstream media and get us to actually confront the awfulness of the situation our civilization is in. I found it refreshing and we know that humor is good medicine!
Five Ways to Profit BIG from Global Collapse
What can you do to optimize your chances in the case of hyperinflation, a deflationary economic Depression, an oil crisis, a famine, or a series of horrendous environmental disasters? If you don’t already know, you’d better wise up fast—because some or all of these exciting opportunities are on their way to a neighborhood near you! … Pointy-headed intellectuals have been warning us about this stuff for years. Decades. Who cares? Who’s had the time for depressing, worrisome, gloomy, hard-to-understand statistics and graphs? There’s been work to do, money to be made, kids to put through college, new episodes of American Idol to watch.
Subsequent chapter headings from his imagined satirical book include:
Chapter 1, “How to Become a Billionaire Without Doing Anything!”, will prepare you to thrive in a period of hyperinflation.
Naturally, you will only be able to benefit from hyperinflation if you haven’t already lost everything to deflation—which brings us to
Chapter 2, “How to Buy the House of Your Dreams for $1000!”
In Chapter 3, “Pick Up Any Guy or Girl with Three Magic Words!”, you will learn that, in an inevitable future in which gasoline is unaffordable and oil shortages are commonplace, the words “I’ve got fuel” will make you instantly attractive.
Chapter 4, “How to Lose 40 Pounds Without Even Trying!”, offers advice on a sure-fire way to beat the obesity epidemic. It’s called global famine!
And that brings us to the concluding, inspirational Chapter 5, “Ten Ways YOU Can Change the World!”
Massive oil spills, climate change, species extinctions, resource depletion, deforestation, air pollution, water pollution, rapid population growth, widespread reproductive disruption among vertebrates due to environmental toxins, ocean acidification . . . the list could go on and on. And all we have to do to contribute to these great smacking big planetary changes is to continue doing exactly what we are doing right now! Fly and drive! Use plastic bags! Eat fast food! Turn up the air conditioner! Have lots of children! Buy stuff and throw it away! It’s so fun and easy to change the world.
Joking aside … Richard’s Museletter is terrific and truly inspirational in the best way. I urge everyone to subscribe to it. Also check out the Post-Carbon Institute website.
Filed under: Consciousness, Current Events, Ecology, Politics, Science | Tagged: air pollution, deflation, deforestation, economic depression, environmental disasters, global collapse, hyperinflation, mainstream media, peak oil peak everything, Post-Carbon Institute, profiteering, rapid population growth, resource depletion, Richard Heinberg, water pollution, widespread reproductive disruption |